234+ Funny Scissor Puns

Love is a lot like a pair of scissors. Two separate blades, joined at the heart, moving together in perfect rhythm. On anniversaries, we celebrate not just the years but the gentle snips that shaped us into something beautiful.

Friendship and romance both need balance, trust, and a little playful trimming around the edges. Just like scissors, relationships work best when both sides stay sharp, caring, and connected. Today, we celebrate togetherness with Funny Scissor Puns One Liner that blend humor, wordplay, and heartfelt emotion.

These clever cutting jokes and snipping one-liners bring smiles while honoring love, friendship, and unity. So let’s open our hearts like well-oiled shears and cut straight into laughter.

Scissor Jokes That Cut Right to the Heart

  • We go together like scissors and paper, always ready to make beautiful memories. ✂️
  • Our friendship stays sharp because we never let distance dull our edge. ❤️
  • Love with you feels like a clean cut, smooth and perfectly aligned. 💕
  • You and I are like scissor blades, stronger when we stick together. 🔗
  • I tried to cut you out of my life, but the scissors refused to cooperate. 😄
  • Our bond snips away doubts and trims fear with care. 🌸
  • You cut straight to my heart, and I am not even mad about it. 💘
  • We do not fall apart; we simply stay hinged at the soul. 🧡
  • Even when life feels tangled, we snip through it hand in hand. 🌿
  • Love like ours never gets blunt because we keep sharpening it daily. ✨
  • You handle my rough edges like a pro with crafting scissors. 🎨
  • We trim the drama and stitch the laughter together. 🧵
  • My heart skips a snip whenever you smile. 😊
  • Our connection cuts through silence better than words ever could. 🤍
  • We were crafted to click perfectly, blade to blade. 🔒

Hilarious Cutting Tool One-Liners for Couples

  • You are my favorite cutting tool because you shape my world with love. 💖
  • We handle life like pro scissors, steady and smooth. ✂️
  • I knew we would last because we always make the cut. 😎
  • Our romance snips away loneliness in one clean motion. 🌹
  • Even on dull days, you help me stay sharp. 🌟
  • We do not compete; we complement like matching blades. 🪞
  • You cut through my bad mood like it is wrapping paper. 🎁
  • Together, we shear away the stress and keep the joy. 🐑
  • Love feels safer when we stay locked at the hinge. 🔐
  • You trim my worries into tiny confetti pieces. 🎉
  • We glide through problems like scissors on silk. 🧵
  • Our laughs slice through awkward moments with ease. 😆
  • I never feel torn because you always make a clean cut. 💫
  • You are the sharpest decision I ever made. 💍
  • We cut through life, one sweet snip at a time. 🌼

Clever Shear Humor for Friends and Soulmates

Clever Shear Humor for Friends and Soulmates
  • Best friends stick together like sturdy shears in a toolbox. 🧰
  • You shear away my sadness without even trying. 🌈
  • We never drift apart because our hinge holds strong. 🔩
  • Your kindness trims my fears down to size. 🌻
  • Our friendship makes every cut feel creative, not painful. 🎨
  • We shear the spotlight because we shine together. 🌟
  • When life knots up, we snip it with teamwork. 🤝
  • You keep my thoughts neat and my heart tidy. 📚
  • We handle gossip like scissors handle ribbon, quick and clean. 🎀
  • Our bond stays sharp even after years of laughter. 😄
  • You always know how to cut straight to the truth. 💡
  • We trim negativity like pros in a craft room. 🧶
  • You help me slice stress into manageable pieces. 🍰
  • Real friendship never gets rusty; it stays polished and ready. 🪞
  • We are cut from the same loving cloth. 🧵

Romantic Snipping Puns That Show Togetherness

  • You snipped into my life and stitched yourself into my heart. 💘
  • Our love story unfolds one gentle cut at a time. 📖
  • I cannot cut ties with you because you are my favorite connection. 🔗
  • You make my heart open and close like happy scissors. ✂️
  • Every snip with you creates a masterpiece of memories. 🖼️
  • We trim misunderstandings before they grow too big. 🌱
  • Love feels easy when we stay aligned blade to blade. 💕
  • You cut away my fears and leave only courage. 🦋
  • We craft joy together from the simplest scraps. 🧩
  • I feel safe knowing we always handle things together. 🤍
  • You are the reason my world feels neatly trimmed. 🌸
  • We snip through storms and dance in the sunshine. 🌦️
  • Our affection slices through silence with warmth. 🔥
  • Even sharp words soften when we speak with care. 🕊️
  • I would choose you again, no ifs, ands, or cuts. 😌

Playful Craft Scissor Wordplay for Lovebirds

  • Our love belongs in the craft aisle because it creates magic. 🎨
  • We cut shapes from ordinary days and turn them extraordinary. 🌟
  • You glue my heart after every playful snip. 🧡
  • We handle arguments like patterned scissors, with style. ✂️
  • You help me design a future filled with bright colors. 🌈
  • Together we trim doubt and frame trust. 🖼️
  • I never feel torn because you always cut kindly. 😊
  • Our romance sparkles like glitter after a careful cut. ✨
  • You snip away my stress like it is scrap paper. 🗒️
  • We measure twice and cut once when it comes to love. 📏
  • You craft comfort from chaos with a simple smile. 🌻
  • Our hearts stay connected like twin handles. 🔄
  • We cut through confusion with patience and laughter. 😄
  • You shape my world into something beautiful. 🌍
  • Every day with you feels handmade and heartfelt. 💝
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Sharp Humor Lines That Slice Through Boredom

Sharp Humor Lines That Slice Through Boredom
  • We cut boredom out and paste adventure in. 🗺️
  • Your laugh slices through my cloudy days. ☁️
  • We sharpen each other instead of tearing apart. 🔪
  • You trim the tension before it grows wild. 🌿
  • Our connection slices through distance like paper. ✉️
  • I cannot stay dull when you are around. 😄
  • We cut negativity like pros at a ribbon ceremony. 🎀
  • You handle my messy moments with gentle precision. 🎯
  • We slice through silence with sweet conversations. 🗣️
  • Love like ours stays razor sharp and real. 💎
  • You make every rough edge smooth again. 🪵
  • We cut to the chase and hug it out. 🤗
  • Your presence snips away my worries. 🌼
  • Together we shear off yesterday’s regrets. 🌅
  • We stay keen on each other every single day. 💓

Cute Paper-Cutting Jokes with Heartfelt Twists

  • We cut paper, not corners, when it comes to caring. 📄
  • Your love folds perfectly into my life. 💌
  • We snip through life’s wrapping and find the gift inside. 🎁
  • I tried to cut calories, but I cannot cut you. 😅
  • You trim my doubts and leave confidence behind. 🌟
  • We handle life like scissors handle cardstock, steady and strong. 📦
  • Our bond never frays because we keep it tidy. 🧵
  • You cut through confusion like a clear blueprint. 📐
  • We slice stress thinner than scrapbook paper. 📚
  • You make every cut count with kindness. 🤍
  • We snip away fear and paste courage in place. 🦁
  • Our laughter echoes like scissors clicking in harmony. 🎶
  • You shape my chaos into calm designs. 🌊
  • We craft love from tiny paper moments. 💕
  • Together we create something worth framing. 🖼️

Funny Haircut and Barber Shear Puns

  • You gave my heart the best trim it ever had. 💇
  • Our love fades only into deeper shades of joy. 🌈
  • We shear away bad vibes like expert barbers. 💈
  • You style my life with patience and flair. ✂️
  • I never feel cut off because you stay close. 🤗
  • We clip away the past and grow toward tomorrow. 🌱
  • Your affection gives my soul a fresh look. 🌟
  • We handle tangles gently and move forward smiling. 😊
  • Love with you always looks sharp. 🪞
  • You brush off my worries with one sweet word. 🧡
  • We snip negativity before it spreads. 🌼
  • You keep my heart neatly lined up. 📏
  • Our relationship never needs split ends. 😄
  • We trim problems before they become disasters. 🚿
  • You make every season feel like a fresh cut. 🌸

Lighthearted Snip and Clip Humor for Partners

Lighthearted Snip and Clip Humor for Partners
  • We clip doubts and keep the trust intact. 🔐
  • You snip away my stress like it is loose thread. 🧵
  • Our hearts stay attached like perfect pivot screws. 🔩
  • I cannot cut you loose because you complete me. 💞
  • We trim the silence with honest talks. 🗣️
  • You clip my wings only to help me fly better. 🕊️
  • We snip through fear and choose courage. 🦋
  • Your smile cuts deeper than any blade. 😍
  • We shear away excuses and hold onto love. 🤝
  • You handle my sharp moods with soft hands. 🤲
  • Our story stays neatly aligned and balanced. ⚖️
  • We clip the chaos and frame the calm. 🖼️
  • You cut into my loneliness and replaced it with laughter. 😂
  • We never let rust settle between us. 🧴
  • Together we make every snip count. ✨

Witty Scissor Sayings About Bond and Balance

  • Two blades, one purpose, endless love. ❤️
  • We balance each other like perfect scissor symmetry. ⚖️
  • You cut through my doubts and plant hope instead. 🌱
  • Our bond stays firm at the hinge of trust. 🔒
  • We slice through challenges with steady hands. ✂️
  • You help me stay sharp without hurting anyone. 🌟
  • We trim away pride and grow humility. 🌸
  • Your presence snips sadness into tiny scraps. 🧩
  • We move together smoothly, never against each other. 🤍
  • You make every cut gentle and meaningful. 💕
  • Our love never feels torn because we protect it. 🛡️
  • We shear through hardships and bloom stronger. 🌷
  • You are the sharp edge that keeps me focused. 🎯
  • We never lose alignment because we value balance. 🔄
  • With you, every snip becomes a celebration of togetherness. 🎉

Hilarious Scissor Jokes That Will Cut Through Your Boredom

  • I told my scissors a joke, but it just couldn’t handle the split. ✂️
  • When scissors argue, they always end up in a cutting-edge debate. 😂
  • My scissors are in a relationship — they really make the perfect pair. 💞
  • The barber’s scissors just got promoted for outstanding shear performance. 🌟
  • I couldn’t trust my scissors today, they seemed a bit two-faced. 😅
  • My scissors are shy; they never open up at first. 🤭
  • I took my scissors on a date, and it was quite a snip-tacular evening. 💐
  • Don’t mess with the angry scissors; they might snap under pressure. 😬
  • My scissors joined the gym — now they’re in sharp shape. 💪
  • I dropped my scissors, and now they’ve got a cutting-edge injury. 😆
  • Scissors always know how to make the cut in life. 🏆
  • My scissors told me they dream of being on the cutting floor of a movie. 🎬
  • A scissor’s favorite musician? Snip Dogg. 🎧
  • I once met a comedian who cut jokes as well as he cut paper. 😂
  • My scissors are the sharpest friends I have. ❤️

Witty Shear Humor and Snippy One Liners

Witty Shear Humor and Snippy One Liners
  • Don’t underestimate the scissors; they’re sharper than they look. ✂️
  • Life’s too short to use dull scissors. 😉
  • My scissors can’t keep secrets; they always cut to the chase. 😜
  • Two scissors walked into a salon — things got pretty shear-ious. 💇‍♀️
  • I bought golden scissors; now I’m living a cut above the rest. 💰
  • The scissors went to therapy because they couldn’t handle separation anxiety. 🥺
  • I told my scissors to relax — they’re too tense. 😌
  • Scissors at school always make the best cutouts. 🎒
  • When in doubt, snip it out. ✂️
  • Scissors love teamwork — they never work alone. 🤝
  • I saw scissors dancing; they had such smooth moves. 💃
  • The scissors joined a band called “The Cutting Crew.” 🎸
  • Don’t insult scissors; they have a sharp wit. 😏
  • My scissors went on vacation; they needed a break from cutting corners. 🏖️
  • Always trust scissors — they never run with you, only for you. ❤️
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Sharp and Clever Scissor Puns for Laugh Lovers

  • Scissors and paper broke up because things got too cutthroat. 💔
  • My scissors always stay on point. 🔥
  • I gave my scissors a compliment — now they’re cutting up with joy. 😆
  • The hairdresser’s scissors are the real heroes of style. 💇‍♂️
  • My scissors are optimistic; they always see the silver lining. ☀️
  • Don’t worry if you’re dull; just find your sharp side. ✨
  • Scissors never get bored — they’re always cutting-edge. 😎
  • Life is all about making clean cuts. 💫
  • My scissors told me they wanted a trim career. 😂
  • I named my scissors “Snippy” because they’re always sassy. 😜
  • These scissors could teach us a lot about balance. ⚖️
  • I told my scissors to chill, and they said they were already cool. 🧊
  • A pair of scissors is like a good friendship — always together, always sharp. ❤️
  • My scissors wanted to join the circus as acrobats. 🎪
  • Never underestimate a scissor’s ability to handle pressure. 💪

Funny Hairdresser Scissor Jokes and Barber Humor

  • My barber’s scissors are so sharp, they cut through drama too. 💇‍♀️
  • Scissors at the salon have a cutting-edge sense of humor. 😂
  • The hairstylist and scissors are the ultimate power duo. 💖
  • Scissors love gossip — they’re always in on the split ends. 😜
  • I trust my barber’s scissors more than my GPS. 🚗
  • These scissors don’t just cut hair, they shape confidence. ✨
  • I once asked my barber for a trim, and my hairline filed a complaint. 😅
  • My stylist’s scissors have more fans than a celebrity. 🌟
  • The scissors whispered, “Time for a snip of change.” 💬
  • Hairdressers believe in making people feel shear joy. 💕
  • My haircut was so good, I’m still cut up about it. 😂
  • When scissors meet curls, magic happens. ✂️
  • A barber’s scissor is the wand of transformation. 🪄
  • My barber’s scissors always keep things straight to the point. 😎
  • The secret to a good day? A sharp cut and a smile. 😊

Punny Scissor Sayings for Everyday Laughter

Punny Scissor Sayings for Everyday Laughter
  • Scissors remind us that teamwork makes the cut work. 🤝
  • Life’s rough — but scissors help us trim the chaos. 🌈
  • When times get tangled, snip your way through. ✂️
  • My scissors believe in clipping negativity away. 💖
  • Every snip is a small act of courage. 💪
  • Scissors teach us that balance brings precision. ⚖️
  • Stay sharp, but don’t cut people down. ❤️
  • My scissors said they love cutting ties with drama. 😅
  • The secret to success is a sharp mind and sharper tools. 🧠
  • Even scissors know when to take a break. ☕
  • My scissors and I are always on the same edge. 😎
  • Be like scissors — graceful under pressure. 💫
  • When scissors smile, they open wide. 😄
  • Some friendships are just perfectly snipped together. 💕
  • My scissors are my daily reminder to stay balanced. 🌟

Cute and Adorable Scissor Puns to Melt Hearts

  • My scissors are cuter than your crush. 😍
  • Scissors love hugs — they’re always close. 🤗
  • Every snip brings a little sparkle. ✨
  • My scissors wink every time they cut paper hearts. 💌
  • Scissors know the art of staying together forever. ❤️
  • When scissors blush, they turn stainless. 😊
  • I’d never cut you out of my life. 💞
  • My scissors said, “Let’s make something beautiful together.” 🌹
  • Even scissors can have butterflies before a big cut. 🦋
  • Our friendship is as sharp as these blades. 😍
  • My scissors are hopeless romantics. 💘
  • Love is when two blades move in sync. 💫
  • I’m totally snipped in love. 💖
  • My scissors and I have a cutting connection. 💕
  • You’re the missing half of my scissor pair. 💞

Relatable Scissor Humor for Daily Life

  • Mondays feel like blunt scissors. 😩
  • I’m cutting through deadlines like paper. ⏰
  • My patience is shorter than my scissors’ blade. 😂
  • Scissors remind me to stay sharp under stress. 💪
  • Don’t run with scissors — walk with confidence. 🚶‍♂️
  • My life needs more precision and fewer tangles. ✂️
  • When I’m tired, even my scissors refuse to open. 😴
  • I trust my scissors more than my Wi-Fi. 📶
  • Scissors are proof that opposites can work beautifully. ⚡
  • I’m just trying to cut bad vibes out of my life. 🌈
  • Scissors make everything look clean and neat — goals! 💫
  • I cut negativity like it’s paper. 💥
  • My scissors have better balance than I do. 😅
  • Even scissors have bad hair days. 😂
  • Life’s better when you’re snipping through challenges. 🌻

Crafty Scissor Jokes for DIY Lovers

Crafty Scissor Jokes for DIY Lovers
  • My crafting scissors are the real MVPs of creativity. 🎨
  • Scissors are the soulmates of crafters. 💕
  • Every project starts with a perfect cut. ✂️
  • I told my scissors they were artsy — they blushed. 😊
  • Crafters never let their scissors rust. 🌟
  • My scissors can turn plain paper into magic. 🪄
  • Cutting out hearts never felt so good. 💌
  • My scissors love to create, not destroy. 🌈
  • The sharper the scissors, the brighter the art. 🎭
  • Scissors believe in snipping dreams into reality. 💫
  • Creativity begins with a clean edge. 🧵
  • I never craft alone; my scissors are always with me. 🤗
  • Scissors are like artists — bold and precise. 🎨
  • My scissors are addicted to DIY projects. 😆
  • Every snip brings a new creation to life. 🌻

Scissor Wordplay That’s Simply Cutting-Edge

  • My scissors always stay ahead of the curve. 💫
  • You could say my humor is a bit shear genius. 😜
  • Scissors belong on the edge of greatness. 🌟
  • Stay edgy, stay sharp. ✂️
  • My scissors never lose their point. 😉
  • A little snip goes a long way. 💕
  • Scissors are proof that precision can be beautiful. ✨
  • When you’re sharp, life gets easier. 💪
  • The edge of creativity starts with a snip. 🎨
  • Scissors are the architects of every masterpiece. 🏗️
  • Life without scissors would be dull — literally. 😂
  • My scissors love being cutting-edge trendsetters. 👑
  • Every snip adds sparkle to my day. 🌈
  • Scissors teach us that balance is key. ⚖️
  • Cutting through fear brings clarity. 💖
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Office and School Scissor Jokes That Hit Home

  • My office scissors are overworked and underappreciated. 😅
  • The school scissors are always missing in action. 🏫
  • Scissors in the stationery box are the quiet heroes. 🖇️
  • The teacher said we’d have a cutthroat competition. 😂
  • Scissors love paper, but they can’t stand rock. ✊
  • I told my boss I’m cutting costs — he handed me scissors. 💼
  • When in doubt, grab scissors — they fix everything. ✂️
  • Office drama cuts deep, just like scissors. 😬
  • My homework didn’t make it — the scissors were too excited. 📚
  • Scissors at work are always on point. 💪
  • I’ve got a cutting schedule today. 🕒
  • Scissors are the quiet coworkers who do all the work. 😇
  • Never borrow office scissors without saying thanks. 🙏
  • Even scissors need a desk to rest on. 🖥️
  • My school days were full of paper, glue, and scissors. ❤️

Scissor Jokes That Make Great Instagram Captions

  • Stay sharp, stay real. ✂️
  • Cutting my way to happiness. 🌈
  • Sharp minds and sharper tools. 💫
  • When life gets messy, make a clean cut. 💕
  • Just snip it. 😎
  • Creativity in every cut. 🎨
  • Don’t blunt your sparkle. ✨
  • Precision is my passion. 💖
  • Snip happens, smile anyway. 😅
  • Keep calm and cut on. 🌸
  • Always on the cutting edge. 💪
  • A clean cut makes a clear mind. 🌼
  • Sharp looks, sharper wit. 😜
  • Happiness is a perfect pair of scissors. 💕
  • Keep it sharp, keep it real. ❤️

Relationship and Love Scissor Puns

Relationship and Love Scissor Puns
  • We go together like two blades of a scissor. 💞
  • Our love cuts through every problem. ❤️
  • You’re my perfect pair — always by my side. 💕
  • Together, we make beautiful cuts. 💖
  • Love is finding your matching blade. 😍
  • Our bond is sharper than steel. 💫
  • I’ll never cut you out of my life. 💋
  • Scissors remind me of us — inseparable and strong. 💪
  • We’re always on the same edge. 💞
  • You make my heart snip faster. 💘
  • Love is about balance and precision. ⚖️
  • You’re the only one who fits my handle perfectly. 💐
  • Let’s cut negativity and stay close. 🌹
  • Every snip reminds me of our teamwork. 🤝
  • We may face pressure, but we never break apart. 💕

Inspirational Scissor Quotes with Humor

  • Stay sharp even when life dulls your edge. 💫
  • Every cut leads to something new. 🌈
  • Scissors remind us that precision creates beauty. ✨
  • Cut away what no longer serves your happiness. ❤️
  • Keep trimming your life into a masterpiece. 🌸
  • A sharp mind cuts through confusion. 🧠
  • Scissors never stop; they just keep creating. 💪
  • Even the smallest snip can spark big change. 💥
  • Stay balanced under pressure. ⚖️
  • Every open and close is a rhythm of growth. 🌼
  • Don’t fear the cut — it’s part of transformation. 💖
  • Life’s like a haircut — it grows better after every trim. 😊
  • Scissors teach us that every end is a new beginning. 🌻
  • Stay true, stay sharp. ✂️
  • Keep snipping your way toward joy. 💕

Puns About Scissors and Fashion Fun

  • Fashion designers are the real snip legends. 👗
  • Scissors make runway magic happen. 💃
  • Every outfit begins with a sharp idea. ✨
  • Tailors trust their scissors more than luck. 🍀
  • My sewing scissors deserve an award. 🏆
  • I once saw scissors cutting fabric like poetry. 🎭
  • Stitch by stitch, snip by snip — dreams unfold. 💫
  • Scissors are the silent stylists of fashion. 🌹
  • The sharper the scissors, the cleaner the design. 🪡
  • A fashion cut is worth a thousand stitches. 💕
  • Scissors make elegance possible. 👠
  • Behind every dress is a perfect cut. 💖
  • My scissors said they love couture. 😎
  • Design starts with one snip. 🌸
  • Scissors make fabric fall in love with style. 💃

Scissor Humor for Creative Souls

  • Creativity begins with courage and a pair of scissors. 🎨
  • Scissors cut ideas into shape. 💡
  • Every snip brings imagination to life. 🌈
  • My scissors know how to craft dreams. 💫
  • The artist’s favorite sound is the snip. ✂️
  • Scissors and glue — partners in creation. 🧵
  • Creativity flows where scissors go. 💕
  • My scissors never rest; they’re too inspired. 😍
  • A dull blade can’t stop a bright idea. 🌟
  • Scissors slice through limits. 💪
  • Every piece of art starts with a cut. 🖼️
  • My scissors make chaos look beautiful. 💖
  • The art of snipping is the art of patience. 🕊️
  • Creativity is born from a clean cut. 🎭
  • Scissors whisper inspiration in every snip. 💕

Playful Scissor Puns to Share with Friends

  • Friends who snip together, stick together. 🤝
  • You’re my cutting-edge buddy. 😎
  • Our friendship is sharper than ever. 💞
  • Scissors and friends both make clean cuts through drama. 😂
  • My bestie keeps me from going dull. 💖
  • Friendship is all about balance and trust. ⚖️
  • You’re my other half — just like a scissor blade. ❤️
  • We make a snip-tacular team. 💫
  • Scissors remind me of our bond — unbreakable. 💪
  • Cutting through bad vibes with you feels easy. 🌈
  • You bring sparkle to every snip of life. ✨
  • Let’s keep our friendship sharp forever. 💕
  • Life’s smoother with you by my side. 😊
  • We’re the perfect pair, always in sync. 🌟
  • Together, we make magic with every cut. 💖

Final Cut: Wrapping Up the Laughter

Just like scissors that work best when both blades move together, life becomes easier when shared with laughter, warmth, and good friends. These puns remind us to stay sharp in humor and gentle in heart.

Whether you’re trimming through tough times or crafting happy moments, keep your joy precise and your kindness endless. After all, a good laugh can cut through even the hardest day. ✂️💕

FAQs

Q1. Why are scissor puns so popular?

Scissor puns are popular because they’re witty, playful, and relatable — everyone has used scissors, making the humor universal and lighthearted.

Q2. Can I use these scissor puns for Instagram captions?

Absolutely! These puns make perfect captions for hairstylists, crafters, and anyone looking to add clever humor to their social media posts.

Q3. How do scissor jokes improve mood?

Laughter releases endorphins, and clever wordplay like scissor puns brings a mix of creativity and cheer, instantly uplifting your spirit.

Q4. Are these scissor jokes suitable for kids?

Yes! All the puns here are clean, friendly, and perfect for both adults and children to enjoy.

Q5. Can I use these for my salon or craft business?

Of course! These funny scissor lines can add charm to your business posts, wall art, or marketing — keeping your brand both fun and relatable.

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